Follow Your Passion – It Will Lead You to Your Purpose: Struggles, Regrets, Indifferences and A Lot

Hello there. My name is Fariha and I am a third year nursing student. I like to think of myself as a somewhat unique individual. This is not only because I am in one of the toughest undergraduate programs to exist, but also because I do not intend to practise as a ‘true nurse’ – the ultimate outcome of the program.

Now that I got your attention, you must be like “what!?, no way” – at least that’s what I have heard from several individuals, both within nursing and beyond. I have even been questioned as to why I am in the program and what possibly would I do with my life.

Well, let me tell you one thing about myself. My brain works a lot more effectively than my hands. I always knew growing up that I could never be an engineer or a pilot or in fact any other professional who required the simultaneous use of her limbs and intellect. Yet, somehow I always wanted to be a doctor, because “I wanted to help people.” This perspective eventually changed, as I interacted with multiple doctors upon my arrival to Canada in 2010, where the doctors didn’t really help me but merely fixed me up with a dose of antibiotics or a prescription of nasal inhalant.

I clearly recall the time when I had to pick my program and a university. I knew I had the grades so admission wasn’t a concern. In fact, I had the highest average in Thames Valley District School Board, and I subsequently got a lot of publicity (and money) for it. My first preference was the Western-Fanshawe Collaborative BScN program – and now after three years of reflection and question I still don’t know why. I had never really seen what a nurse actually did at a hospital; all I knew was that my aunts were nurses in the US and lived a stable life. I knew that nurses were some sort of angelic, feminine individuals who helped sick people for 12 hours in a day. As you can appreciate, most of that isn’t true (nurses don’t have to be feminine; not every nurse works 12 hours a day; nurses do so much more than just assisting sick individuals).

You must be thinking, Fariha you are one silly individual who did not do her research properly and should be held accountable for the consequences. Maybe you are right. Maybe if I clicked “Accept” for the Health Sciences Program (Honors Specialization) at Western University, I would be in a very different place in life.

But I did not. I chose nursing. I wanted to be a RN, and I still do. Do I have any regrets? No! Do I wish I had done things differently? Sometimes. Have I learned a lot about myself in the nursing program? You bet. Do I think it’s one of the most rewarding experiences of my life? 100%.

My point here is that I still want to be nurse Fariha – but just a different kind of nurse Fariha. One who advocates for healthy public policy or one who engages in knowledge translation interventions at the RNAO or one who works at a homeless shelter assessing health risks among individuals. I don’t know where my aspirations will lead me, but I have confidence in my abilities that one day I will be at a place where my childhood dream of actually helping people will be a reality that I get to practise every single day.

I want to be very clear here that by no means do I intend to devalue what traditional nurses at hospitals do. I believe that they are so needed in that setting and there will be dire consequences for the healthcare system if there are anymore cutbacks. The nurses in acute care settings do an insane amount of work and I could possibly not imagine what they must go through when things don’t work in the best interest of the patient. I will and always admire their courage and hard work.

However, I do not foresee myself as one of them. I never did. I knew that environment was different and despite my countless attempts to adjust and “get over it” – I could not attain the level of satisfaction and fulfillment that I did when I took the community health nursing course and did a lot of community outreach and health promotion. I would say that really is what my jam is in a nutshell. Social determinants of health, god I love that phrase.

Currently, I work as a research assistant for Dr. Mantler in the faculty of health sciences and I love it! I also work as a personal support worker in the dementia unit at a long term care. I teach high school Math too. Suffice to say I am a busy person, as it does take a lot to juggle these jobs, to volunteer in my community and to attain a decent grade in school. You know what though? I am happy. I am happy to be where I am at. And I know one day I will get there. Wherever that “there” may be.

My 101 advice for anyone: Never let anyone belittle your dreams and crush your hopes. Never let anyone take charge of how you intend to live your life. Be proud of who you are. Get involved in the community. Be grateful for every opportunity that comes your way and if you feel like giving up, never forget why you began in the first place.

Cheers,

Fariha Jamani

BScN Candidate